In Remembrance of [Grandpa]

5 11 2011

My grandfather would have been 85 years old today.  I can’t believe it’s been 10 years and six months to the day since he died.  I know that I’m not the only one who remembers this date.  I know my mom does and my grandmother does.  She probably has an even more deeply seared remembrance of it than I do. 

I know we’re not the only family that had dates such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, favorite holidays, and anniversaries of death that always hold a sting.  It can be extremely difficult dealing with the mixed emotions of those days.  I thought I would share some of the things that I do to help me through rough days such as today.

  1. Send a card to a loved one who was as close or closer to the deceased than you are to let them know you remember.  In my case, it’s my grandmother.  It’s nice for her to get a card letting her know I remember their anniversary and I know that it’s still a hard day for her.
  2. Try to share a story or memory of the deceased or write it down so that I don’t forget it.  I love sharing the memories I have of my grandpa.  They are cherished times and it’s a great way to honor him.
  3. Do something that your loved on enjoyed doing or something that you traditionally did together.  Sometimes I will fly a kite, ride a bike, or go fishing to feel close to my grandfather and remember what he loved.  I enjoy doing those things because he did and we did those together when I was a child.
  4. Don’t condemn the feelings that you have.  The day may be hard and you’ll feel sad or maybe you’ll feel happy and have a mini-celebration of that person’s life.  There are many ways to grieve and there is no one right way to feel.
  5. Remember that over time things will get easier.  Not that it’s ever easy remembering a loved one.  But the sting is somewhat lessened.  It will probably still always be there, but time does help.  It is okay to excuse yourself and be alone.  It’s sometimes easier to process alone and away from others.

Over the next few weeks I want to share some true stories and memories of a wonderful man who was a big part of my life.  I will remember who he was and it does sadden me that he wasn’t there for some major events in my life (like graduation) and that he won’t be there for my wedding or meet my children someday.  But that doesn’t mean that his life won’t mean something to my future children.  His stories and my memories can let them partially know who my grandfather was.



7 responses

5 11 2011
14 11 2011
A Legacy Left | Home Helpers Elgin

[…] I promised a couple posts ago, here’s a post about my grandfather and some of the memories I have of him. My […]

26 11 2011
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Your blog has really inspired me to completely change the way I blog. I want to let you know I appreciate your great work.

28 11 2011

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read the blog.

26 11 2011
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Aw man I wanted to write and say i love reading your blog.

28 11 2011

Thank you! I appreciate your feedback. We’ll keep the posts coming.

6 01 2012
EldercareABC Blog Carnival – December 14, 2011 | Gateway Health Foundation

[…] Kirkland presents In Remembrance of [Grandpa] posted at Home Helpers […]

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